A few months ago I wrote a post, sharing my experience with domestic abuse. I posted it on my private Facebook page and my business page with the intention of creating awareness and understanding on the subject.
I got an overwhelming response from friends, relatives, people who I have lost contact with over the years and people who I’d never met before. I had zero contact with my ex so I wasn’t sure whether he was still in the country or not. He didn’t have a visa to be in the UK, so he had either gone back to Australia or was flying under the radar somewhere in England.
My mind was on over drive 24/7, every time the dogs barked or I heard the front gate open, my heart would race. You can imagine my surprise when I got a message from his new girlfriend, Georgia. She had read my story and recognised the behaviours I’d described.
She had also been lied to, manipulated and psychologically abused. Turns out he had been living and working in Cornwall, free to create a whole new life with total disregard for the previous one he shared with me and our boys.
Victims of domestic abuse tend to be empathetic, which makes them vulnerable to people who want to take advantage. Perpetrators see their kindness as a weakness and their caring nature as something to be manipulated and exploited. Ultimately, abusers gain strength by dominating others. The ability to feel empathy is a trait that I treasure most in myself. I celebrate my kindness and view it as a strength and not a weakness. One thing my ex underestimated in both Georgia and me, was our strength and our resilience. A single post on social media lead Georgia to end her toxic relationship with him, preventing her from further emotional damage. Furthermore, between swapping countless crazy stories, Georgia was able to share with me the details of his current living situation and location. This gave me the information I needed to go to the police, who subsequently alerted immigration.
Immigration acted impressively quickly, and he has now been removed from the UK. Georgia and I can find some peace in knowing that there are now oceans dividing us from him. Despite the many negative effects social media can have, it truly is great way to spread awareness and connect with people many miles away. If you feel passionate about something, shout loud about it. Someone will be listening.
Domestic abuse effects 1 in 4 woman and 1 in 6 men in the UK. Unfortunately, you will probably know someone who has experienced it or will experience it. It’s so important to recognise the signs of abuse so you are able to help. If you are someone who is suffering in silence, and are afraid to seek help because you think that no-one will believe you, don’t be - there are so many services that are here to help.
Talk about it.
Learn about it.
10% of all our online sale goes to Women's Aid.
www.wolfurban.com - Counsellors that specialise in domestic abuse (Bridgette has, and is continuing supporting me)
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